Our trip to the ER and Bo's {almost} Birthday

Yesterday was the most frightening day of my life.  Cameron and I went for Bo's weekly check up.  It started as a normal day.  At lunchtime, I left work and came home to meet Cameron.  He drove us up to the doctor.  I felt tired, but otherwise not bad considering that whole pregnancy thing.  The nurse weighed me and sat me down to take my blood pressure.  The look on her face panicked me.  She instructed me to go into the exam room and lie on my left side and wait for the doctor.

It wasn't my life that flashed before my eyes as I laid there - it was the last 9 months.  It was all the people who told me to take it easy and all the times that I rolled my eyes.  It was the stubborn way that I had screamed at my husband that I am pregnant - not an invalid, thankyouverymuch!  I prayed for this baby like I had never prayed for anyone in my life.  I couldn't find the words to express my fears, and I don't think that I would have even been able to pray them if I could find them.  Have you ever been so terrified of something that speaking about it makes it too real?  That's where I was.

The doctor came in and explained to us that based on my blood pressure, she was sending us to the hospital for blood work and monitoring.  She explained the dangers of high blood pressure and pregnancy.  She said words like seizure and stroke.  She told us that based on the results of the tests, things could progress in a couple of ways.  They'd do blood work and an ultrasound.  Based on the results, they could possibly go ahead and induce labor. 

I knew that I had done this.  I looked at Cameron, knowing that he had told me so.  He had informed me thusly.  I knew that he had every right to be angry with me.  He just looked scared.  Our doctor was fantastic.  It was like she knew everything.  It was as if she had lived our situation.  She told us that she had thought during pregnancy that she could do it all.  She told us how angry she had been at her husband when he insisted that she slow down.  She told us that this is hard and would be hard and when it was all said and done, we'd love each other more than we ever thought possible.  I believe her.

Cameron drove me to the ER.  I was admitted to the triage room in the labor and delivery wing.  My blood pressure was still way way too high.  After 10 minutes on my left side, it came down significantly.  They drew blood for labs and asked for a urine sample.  I was horrified to realize that the couple of minutes and the small amount of effort it took for me to go to the bathroom was enough to spike my blood pressure to a frightening degree.

I took my first wheelchair ride down to the ultrasound lab.  Baby Bo got all 8 points on his BPP, and we took solace in that.  The ultrasound tech estimated Bo's weight at 8 pounds and 4 ounces.  He was moving and shaking in his normal squirmy way.  They wheeled us back up to triage and I was put back in the bed.  Cameron and I shamelessly eavesdropped on the nurse as she consulted with two of the doctors from our practice.  She told them that ALL of my labs had come back normal.  My blood pressure was still elevated, but I was otherwise healthy.

I was discharged with instructions to return in 24 hours.  I've been off my feet now for over 12 hours.  Bedrest for a pregnant woman who has to pee every hour or so is difficult to wrap my head around, but I understand that this is imperative.  I knew that being a parent would change things.  I knew that my son would teach me things.  I just didn't know that it would start so early.  I'm learning to swallow my pride.  I'm learning to ask for help.  I'm learning what it really means to love someone else more than myself.

Wordless Wednesday (with big thanks to Ashley!)

36 weeks down!

I need longer weekends.

I love it when my sister comes to visit.  She got to town on Friday night with husband and dog in tow.  She and I watched Olympics giggled and talked about nothing in particular while the Olympics played in the background.  Our hubbies played together and put together my new chair.

Chair courtesy of Moma, Bepaw, Aunt Christina and family, and Kevin and Bessie!  Thanks, y'all!

It was waaaaay too late when we decided to make a trip into town to the Waffle House.  Aunt Juliet thought it was hilarious to tell the waitress that I was "10 months pregnant" which made them eyeball me suspiciously through the rest of our dinner.  Turns out that we're too old to be out that late or to consume that much grease.

The next morning while Uncle Jonathan played golf and Cameron worked, Aunt Juliet and I got pedicures and frozen yogurt.  My sissy spoils me like you wouldn't believe.  

I had nothing to wear to my shower on Saturday, but thankfully, a dear neighbor offered to let me borrow a few more maternity items to get me through the next few weeks.  Her dresses were fantastically cute, and definitely got me lots of compliments on Saturday.

You can't tell, but my toenails totally match. :)

The shower was thrown by my aunt and darling cousins.  The food was scrumptious - especially the lemon and blueberry cupcakes.  The company was amazing.  Baby Bo and I received several very special handmade gifts that I will treasure forever.  I didn't take a lot of photos because I was staying off my feet like a good little preggo, but here are a couple of my favorites.

2 of my hostesses and me - with mustaches, of course!

Useful and fantastically CUTE!

My first best friend and sculptor of washcloth dinosaurs for the top of my diaper cake.

I learned several things on Saturday - not least of all, just how many people are ready and willing to come to the aid of this terrified new mother.  I've said it before, and it only becomes more true every day - Rockmart is my home.

I'm loved.  My family is loved.  I did not only receive gifts for Bo and me, but also for Tyler and Destyni.  Cameron got a to-go box of shower food.  All in all, it was a great day for everyone.

GET ON MY BELLY!

33.5 weeks!

So - I had avoided taking another belly photo.  I was waiting for a day when I might actually be wearing make-up or putting in some effort.  However, getting out of bed and working 9 hours is about all I've got right now, and the rest is just the cherry on top.  Don't expect any cherries out of me for the foreseeable future.

So - here I am... in all my pregnant splendor.  And let me tell you something about my belly: I'm proud of it. I get tons of emails everyday about pregnancy and everything that goes into it.  There seem to be a ridiculous number of women who want to know how to keep people's hands off their bellies.  I can't completely identify - maybe I haven't been fondled by enough strangers yet.  I've always been a hugger, so I don't have much of a problem with physical closeness. 


I rub my belly all the time.  I feel for little feet or knees or elbows or whatever that is that's poking me now, and I poke back.  I massage.  I knead.  I love on him.  I play with him.  


Bo is already my most incredible accomplishment ever, and I want to share him with the world.  I want other people to know how strong he is, how hard he can kick, how squirmy and fun he is.  I'll gladly share him with you.  Just let me know.

Who's got my title?

It is amazing what good sleep will do for your mental state. 

Bo and I went for our weekly check-up yesterday.  You may know that I have been disappointed by pretty much every ultrasound that we have had, because he’s like a deer in headlights when they place that wand on my belly.  He freezes and backs away SLOOOOOOWLY.

Yesterday, though, he danced like no one was watching!  He wiggled and squirmed and reached for his toes and tried to get his hands in his mouth!  All the movement meant that the still photos were all a little blurry, but the little guy got 8 out of 8 points on his biophysical profile.  They measure muscle tone, body movements, breathing motion, and amniotic fluid volume.  Last week, we got 6 out of 8 – no breathing motions.  Laurie, the ultrasound tech, assured us that it was just a little early for him to be getting all 8 points, so we didn’t panic, but it was amazing to hear that he got all 8 points this time!

He’s already rocking the honor roll.  I promise not to put a bumper sticker on my car… yet.  :)

Rocking and Rolling

Dear Peekers,

I'm pregnant.  I know - I know - you might have gotten the memo.  However, I feel that it bears repeating, because suddenly, I FEEL pregnant.

This may sound whiny to you, but this is one of those posts that I am recording for me.  My sincerest apologies - I'd probably just skip this one if I were you.

XOXO,

Me

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I am 33 weeks pregnant.  Up until week 32, I felt AWESOME.  My hair had luster, my skin glowed, and my fingernails grew like never before.  As of my doctor's appointment one week ago, I had gained 9 pounds since the beginning of my pregnancy.  I had spells of being tired, but a quick nap always enabled me to work through it.


Suddenly, in the last week, I became the stereotype for pregnancy.  One day, I ate french fries, and my fingers and toes swelled up like little sausages.  The swelling went down slightly, but it didn't go away.  My ankles were swallowed by my calves.  I went from lovingly dressing my bump as a fantastic accessory to grabbing the first thing in my closet that still manages to contain the rapidly expanding belly.


I have adjusted my work schedule to accommodate taking a half day every week to visit the baby doctor - getting up earlier and taking shorter lunch breaks takes more of a toll on me than it ever has before.  


I have 5 pounds of human camped out in my midsection.  Bending is hard.  I run out of breath putting on my shoes - not that they fit anymore.  I rock and roll everywhere I go.  I *rock* myself out of whatever chair I sit in.  I *rock* myself out of my car.  I *roll* myself off the couch and out of bed.


For the first time in my life, I actually believe that schedules are flexible.  I'll get where I'm going when I get there.  I don't have the energy to rush.  


I am sore - every evening.  My legs stay numb or tingly - and I can't decide which I'd rather deal with.  I move from chair to chair to couch in the living room before I remember that I'm just *not* going to get comfortable, and I give up and go to bed.


I feel like a ticking time bomb.  Two nights ago, I lied in bed, unable to sleep, because I couldn't stop thinking about what a mess it was going to make when my water broke.  (Yes - I know.  Typically it isn't a gush... but I didn't say that I was rational right now...)


This baby is coming - ready or not.  I'm trying to plan it out in my mind, but there are too many unknowns.  I need a bag - one at home and one in the car.  I need a plan for how it goes down if I'm at work or at home.  I need a plan for if it's daytime or night time.  I need a plan for if the kids are here or if they aren't.  I'm overwhelmed and panicked, but I'm still breathing.


I think that this is normal.  


If it isn't, maybe you just shouldn't tell me.


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Edited to add:

How did I forget the heartburn?  I woke up in the middle of the night this week choking on my own acid reflux.  Disgusting, I know.  I was there.  Why do I want to remember these things?  I dunno.  But I do.

Flour Baby

Des and Tyler have about a million questions each about their new baby brother.  

• What's he doing?
• Is he sleeping?
• What's he saying?
• Does he like what you're eating?
• Did he get scared when the tornado came?
• When will he be here?
• Does he cry?
• Why is he upside down in your belly?
• Why can't we dress him all in pink?
• How big is he?

Pretty sure that I got all of those... YESTERDAY.  


I get email updates that compare Baby Bo's size to a fruit or vegetable.  It drives Cameron crazy when I call him up to say, "GUESS WHAT?!?  Your son is now a JICIMA." He says he's sick of having his son compared to food.  Which is why I thought the following was downright hysterical:

We were told at the ultrasound this week that Baby Bo is about 2 ounces short of 5 pounds at this point.  So when the kids were asking about how big Baby Bo is last night, I handed them a bag of White Lily self-rising flour.  Des cradled it and kissed it and hauled it around.  I thought that Cameron would collapse on the floor laughing when she jumped at him around the corner, holding the flour and yelled, "IT'S BABY BO!!"  I think it helps them understand why my belly is "SO BIG AND SO HARD!!"  

I know I'm sensitive - especially as I get rounder and more uncomfortable and sleep deprived, but nothing keeps your sense of humor intact like having two little people around to marvel and make observations about your changing body.

I think that the best so far has been Tyler telling me, "Tricia!  Baby Bo kicked you hard!  He made cracks on your belly!" while he traced my stretch marks with his finger.

Bo will have the best big brother and sister ever.  Love some kiddos.  Like whoa.

Does Everything Have to Have a Title?

It's been 4 days.  Tonight, we visit.  We visit with friends and family, and we tell each other that Gramma is in a better place.  We try not to feel guilty at the relief that comes from knowing that she is no longer trapped here in the physical realm with us.

Pregnancy has complicated this whole experience.  Hormones and a 4 pound person trapped in my midsection have made me extra emotional and just plain exhausted.  I was advised by the doctor on Monday to take it easy.  My blood pressure has been slowly rising for the last month or so, and while we are still in what they consider to be "normal" territory, as we approach the due date, we will be taking more precautions.  Most alarmingly to me was that the doctor now wants to see me once a week... for the next 10 weeks or until Bo decides to grace us with his presence.  Next week, we're slated to have an ultrasound and a non-stress test.  I can't help but think that this test is VERY poorly named, because even if you stick the "NON" in front of it, telling an expectant mother that she needs another test will cause stress.

Cameron will be with me, and that makes me happy.  I'm tremendously lucky to have him.  It may be a side effect of everything going on, but I feel completely out of control right now and terrified of everything.  He assures me that I am normal.  That worrying about whether or not you will be a good parent is pretty much a pre-requisite to being a good parent.  Let's hope that he's right.

My sweet sissy has been staying with us this week when she isn't out doing music teacher type things - sight reading songs with strangers for fun... seriously... sounds like a blast, doesn't it?  Anyhow, Aunt Juliet is suffering from seems to be enjoying an almost gravitational pull to my belly.  I'm slightly in denial that I am actually the size of a planet now, but it just may be because now that I think of it, Cameron is exhibiting similar symptoms.

I can worry until the cows come home, but one thing is for sure - this little guy is loved - now and forever.

OOPS!

I had a new belly picture last night, but I completely forgot about it in the other excitement.  So...

30ish weeks!

So far, my journey into the third trimester has involved a reappearance of that complete and utter lack of energy that I suffered from in the first trimester.  {And just when I had almost forgotten.}  This is complicated by my inability to fall asleep or stay asleep and my desire to clean until 10 or 11PM.  So, basically - my body hates me.  


At this point, I can get heartburn from just about anything.  Most surprisingly {to me anyway}, is milk.  Whoever would have thought that the creamy deliciousness of milk could give you heartburn?


Baby Bo is kicking and squirming most of the day and night.  I might be biased, but you would not believe how strong this child of mine is.  :)  Breathing is slightly difficult at this point.  Bo has no sense of personal space, and he seems to be cramping every internal organ I have.  You don't have to tell me that it'll get worse.  Trust me, I already know.


For the last 30 weeks, I've been *slightly* stubborn - insistent that I can still do everything that I ever have done because I AM PREGNANT - NOT CRIPPLED, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.  Suddenly, though, I'm having trouble getting myself off the couch.  I need to be heaved up with the help of a darling and patient husband who apparently wants nothing more than to help when I'll allow it.  


It's getting to be time to pack that hospital bag.  It's flown by.  Some days hours minutes, I think that this baby can't come fast enough - and five minutes later, I don't ever want to let him go.  I'll share my personal space forever if he can just stay safe and sound and close by.  Nothing in my life makes any sense, but at the same time, things are falling into place better than I could have ever dreamed.

Weekend Review

I've had my IPhone for 4 days now.  I'm obsessed.  It's official.  I'd love to say that it has made me the model of productivity, but really, I've just played a lot of Words With Friends.  I was really looking forward to downloading the FlyLady application, but it turns out that there isn't one!!  Seriously, FlyLady - I need you on the bandwagon.  There is an app that apparently works well with the system, but as of now, I can't convince myself to actually pay for an application. 

I came home on Friday to find a package from my dear friend and old roommate, One Rad Mother.  It contained a tshirt which I immediately donned for picture purposes... have I mentioned that I have a new IPhone??  ;)

This photo was met with cries of, "Really? Booty shot but no bump shot!?! DENIED"

So, of course, I had Cameron take another shot.  I had kept the belly in hiding long enough.  I had intended to put on makeup or any of the amazing maternity clothes that have been passed on to me.  None of this happened. 

There it is.  All 24 weeks of pregnant belly.  As C said, "Time flies when you're having crazy."  He's so supportive.

Being pregnant seems like such an invasion of space.  You get fatter and feel awkward, and people want to talk about your body.. what you are doing - or not doing... they want to see the belly and touch the belly, and suddenly, you are the center of attention.  It takes some getting used to.  Maybe it's best to take advantage of the time... no one is going to pay any attention to me once Bo gets here.  I'm okay with it.

Sunday was a win.  C got baptised - only fair to outwardly recommit your life when you are embarking on a new journey.  The icing on the cake was that the preacher was wearing an Avengers shirt.

It's not a GREAT photo.  I should have turned on the flash.  The old blackberry didn't have one.

After an afternoon nap, we spent the evening at Mom's house.  C grilled lamb steaks and we had creamed corn and an awesome salad with veggies from Jackson Lowe Vegetable Farm.  After coming home, while playing Words With Friends, I felt the first external bump from Baby Bo.  I can't wait for C to get a kick.  It's coming, honey!  Don't worry!