Yeah - I love him.

I haven't figured out buttons yet.

This morning, I woke up, rolled over and scooted towards where I believed my husband would be.  I wanted a quick snuggle before I ran out the door to work.  I woke up quite abruptly when I realized that he wasn't there.  I waddled to the living room, expecting to find him on the couch - he and Dr. Who have been pulling some late nights recently, but he wasn't there either.  In just a minute, he came stumbling out of Tyler's room, still wearing his blue jeans and clutching his back.  He spent the night in a twin sized bed with a squirmy 4 year old to protect him against whatever boogieman had been after him last night.


He is our protector, our provider, and our everything.  I've seen him go without sleep, work multiple jobs, and cook delicious and nutritious meals out of practically NOTHING when it was necessary.  Through it all, he always makes time for his family - for each of us individually AND for us as a unit.  He demands togetherness when the rest of us roll our eyes.


He tells people all the time that in our relationship, he is the reacher and I am the settler.  Truth be told, he made me a better person because he believed in me so strongly.

GET ON MY BELLY!

33.5 weeks!

So - I had avoided taking another belly photo.  I was waiting for a day when I might actually be wearing make-up or putting in some effort.  However, getting out of bed and working 9 hours is about all I've got right now, and the rest is just the cherry on top.  Don't expect any cherries out of me for the foreseeable future.

So - here I am... in all my pregnant splendor.  And let me tell you something about my belly: I'm proud of it. I get tons of emails everyday about pregnancy and everything that goes into it.  There seem to be a ridiculous number of women who want to know how to keep people's hands off their bellies.  I can't completely identify - maybe I haven't been fondled by enough strangers yet.  I've always been a hugger, so I don't have much of a problem with physical closeness. 


I rub my belly all the time.  I feel for little feet or knees or elbows or whatever that is that's poking me now, and I poke back.  I massage.  I knead.  I love on him.  I play with him.  


Bo is already my most incredible accomplishment ever, and I want to share him with the world.  I want other people to know how strong he is, how hard he can kick, how squirmy and fun he is.  I'll gladly share him with you.  Just let me know.

Who's got my title?

It is amazing what good sleep will do for your mental state. 

Bo and I went for our weekly check-up yesterday.  You may know that I have been disappointed by pretty much every ultrasound that we have had, because he’s like a deer in headlights when they place that wand on my belly.  He freezes and backs away SLOOOOOOWLY.

Yesterday, though, he danced like no one was watching!  He wiggled and squirmed and reached for his toes and tried to get his hands in his mouth!  All the movement meant that the still photos were all a little blurry, but the little guy got 8 out of 8 points on his biophysical profile.  They measure muscle tone, body movements, breathing motion, and amniotic fluid volume.  Last week, we got 6 out of 8 – no breathing motions.  Laurie, the ultrasound tech, assured us that it was just a little early for him to be getting all 8 points, so we didn’t panic, but it was amazing to hear that he got all 8 points this time!

He’s already rocking the honor roll.  I promise not to put a bumper sticker on my car… yet.  :)

Rocking and Rolling

Dear Peekers,

I'm pregnant.  I know - I know - you might have gotten the memo.  However, I feel that it bears repeating, because suddenly, I FEEL pregnant.

This may sound whiny to you, but this is one of those posts that I am recording for me.  My sincerest apologies - I'd probably just skip this one if I were you.

XOXO,

Me

***********************************************************


I am 33 weeks pregnant.  Up until week 32, I felt AWESOME.  My hair had luster, my skin glowed, and my fingernails grew like never before.  As of my doctor's appointment one week ago, I had gained 9 pounds since the beginning of my pregnancy.  I had spells of being tired, but a quick nap always enabled me to work through it.


Suddenly, in the last week, I became the stereotype for pregnancy.  One day, I ate french fries, and my fingers and toes swelled up like little sausages.  The swelling went down slightly, but it didn't go away.  My ankles were swallowed by my calves.  I went from lovingly dressing my bump as a fantastic accessory to grabbing the first thing in my closet that still manages to contain the rapidly expanding belly.


I have adjusted my work schedule to accommodate taking a half day every week to visit the baby doctor - getting up earlier and taking shorter lunch breaks takes more of a toll on me than it ever has before.  


I have 5 pounds of human camped out in my midsection.  Bending is hard.  I run out of breath putting on my shoes - not that they fit anymore.  I rock and roll everywhere I go.  I *rock* myself out of whatever chair I sit in.  I *rock* myself out of my car.  I *roll* myself off the couch and out of bed.


For the first time in my life, I actually believe that schedules are flexible.  I'll get where I'm going when I get there.  I don't have the energy to rush.  


I am sore - every evening.  My legs stay numb or tingly - and I can't decide which I'd rather deal with.  I move from chair to chair to couch in the living room before I remember that I'm just *not* going to get comfortable, and I give up and go to bed.


I feel like a ticking time bomb.  Two nights ago, I lied in bed, unable to sleep, because I couldn't stop thinking about what a mess it was going to make when my water broke.  (Yes - I know.  Typically it isn't a gush... but I didn't say that I was rational right now...)


This baby is coming - ready or not.  I'm trying to plan it out in my mind, but there are too many unknowns.  I need a bag - one at home and one in the car.  I need a plan for how it goes down if I'm at work or at home.  I need a plan for if it's daytime or night time.  I need a plan for if the kids are here or if they aren't.  I'm overwhelmed and panicked, but I'm still breathing.


I think that this is normal.  


If it isn't, maybe you just shouldn't tell me.


*********************************************************

Edited to add:

How did I forget the heartburn?  I woke up in the middle of the night this week choking on my own acid reflux.  Disgusting, I know.  I was there.  Why do I want to remember these things?  I dunno.  But I do.

Lessons learned.

I love my hometown.  I do.  I love most small towns, but I love mine the most.  I can probably say this truthfully because I left for most of my 20's, and came back to kick off my 30's. 

Homespun is a yearly festival with arts and crafts, music, rides, food, a parade, a 5k, a duck derby, and topped off with fireworks.  It's always hot and crowded, and for me, at least, it's always worth it.

This year was the first year that I've attended avec bebes, and like pretty much everything else, they only made it more fun.  I have a lot to learn about life with kids, and Saturday was no exception. 

I started the day at 6:30AM by greeting runners who were registering for the 5K.  This was special for me because it is run by our church - Crossview Community Church - and it was the first event that I volunteered for last year when we started attending.  This year was almost twice the size as last year, as now we are a qualifier for the Peachtree Road Race.  It was a busy morning!

After the race, I met Mom, Cameron and the kiddos at the First Methodist church for my favorite Homespun tradition - hot breakfast cooked by the Methodist men.  Unfortunately, after breakfast, Cameron had to head off for work, leaving the kiddos and me to our own devices.  We made one lap around the festival to check it all out and decided that as soon as the parade was over, we'd head back toward the bouncy houses.

1st lesson - You CAN have too many balloons.

Too many balloons leads to tangles and general mayhem.  These are fantastic kids, though - Tyler lost a balloon, so Des let him have one of hers.  A little later, Des lost her remaining balloon and Tyler gave her one back.  This was all with NO prompting.  *happysigh*

Des loved the parade - it was her favorite part of the day.  She loved the clowns, and she positively beamed when one threw confetti on her.  I watched her jump up and down on her toes in an act of completely unbridled joy.  {For a minute, in my eyes, she was 4 years old again.}  She also wanted to ride on the firetruck.  She says that she'll be a cheerleader if she can ride on the firetruck.  That brought me back to the present.

We did some bouncing on the bouncy houses post-parade and then headed home for cool-down, lunch, and naptime.

When Cameron got home, we headed back down for his favorite part, the food trucks.

There was chicken on a stick, homemade chips (ribbon fries?), fried fish, fried pickles, a blooming onion, and fried cheesecake.

2nd lesson - Take a blanket.

We sat in the grass to eat our fill of greasy fried deliciousness.  The tables were all full, and because I'm usually content to stand and eat, the logistics of sharing platefuls of food off the ground with two kiddos under 7 who were overly concerned with grass and every tiny bug that crawled by didn't occur to me until we were in the moment.  No harm, no foul, I suppose.

3rd lesson - Kiddo tummies are much MUCH more hardy than mine at this point.

Just watching this happen directly after eating made me queasy - but the boys enjoyed it.  Each of the kids got to choose one activity post-dinner.  This was explained to them very specifically.  Destyni did a great job standing with me and watching the boys go round and round.  Once his ride was over, we walked back to the bouncy houses.

4th lesson - Des will ALWAYS choose the bouncy houses.

Tyler was very unhappy to watch his sister bounce without him.  Those blue eyes welled up, and the bottom lip started to quiver.  It hurt my heart - and Cameron's too, but he had been presented with his options.  We had to stick to it.  I would not tell him, for obvious reasons, but I will tell you, dear Peekers, that sometimes working to raise responsible human beings sucks.  My heart wants to give them everything that they want now.  It's so hard to say 'no', but my prayer is that they will learn the hard lessons, and one day say 'no' to their children - so that I won't have to.  (Isn't that what we have to look forward to as grandparents??)

5th lesson - There's always time for one more ride.

As we walked to the car, we saw a train of carts pulled by a John Deere lawnmower making laps around the park.  We had seen it in the parade earlier, and it was just too good to pass up.  The kiddos hopped in for a spin, and Cameron and I stood in the relative quiet, holding hands, and taking it all in.  I love my family.  I love my life.  I love Homespun.  I already can't wait for next year.

Final lesson - ...

Flour Baby

Des and Tyler have about a million questions each about their new baby brother.  

• What's he doing?
• Is he sleeping?
• What's he saying?
• Does he like what you're eating?
• Did he get scared when the tornado came?
• When will he be here?
• Does he cry?
• Why is he upside down in your belly?
• Why can't we dress him all in pink?
• How big is he?

Pretty sure that I got all of those... YESTERDAY.  


I get email updates that compare Baby Bo's size to a fruit or vegetable.  It drives Cameron crazy when I call him up to say, "GUESS WHAT?!?  Your son is now a JICIMA." He says he's sick of having his son compared to food.  Which is why I thought the following was downright hysterical:

We were told at the ultrasound this week that Baby Bo is about 2 ounces short of 5 pounds at this point.  So when the kids were asking about how big Baby Bo is last night, I handed them a bag of White Lily self-rising flour.  Des cradled it and kissed it and hauled it around.  I thought that Cameron would collapse on the floor laughing when she jumped at him around the corner, holding the flour and yelled, "IT'S BABY BO!!"  I think it helps them understand why my belly is "SO BIG AND SO HARD!!"  

I know I'm sensitive - especially as I get rounder and more uncomfortable and sleep deprived, but nothing keeps your sense of humor intact like having two little people around to marvel and make observations about your changing body.

I think that the best so far has been Tyler telling me, "Tricia!  Baby Bo kicked you hard!  He made cracks on your belly!" while he traced my stretch marks with his finger.

Bo will have the best big brother and sister ever.  Love some kiddos.  Like whoa.

God is good. All the time.

Bianca wouldn't start this morning.

My heart stopped briefly this morning when I hopped into my car, turned the key and heard a click.  I tried once more, and still nothing happened.  I woke Cameron up, and he came out and tried.  Again - nothing.  So - I drove his car to work, and he'll call Mom and she'll come up and help jump it off.  Hopefully, it isn't anything serious.

Now - let me tell you how this turned into an exercise in thanksgiving as I drove towards the office.

I thanked God that Bianca didn't pitch her hissy fit yesterday while I was at work or during my late night trip to the corner store for No More Tears and Honey Nut Cheerios.  I thanked God for providing a loving husband to help take care of things like this.  I thanked God for my mother - who lives 5 miles away and is always happy to help.  I thanked God that I had planned to leave for work early, so this hiccup didn't actually make me late.  I thanked God that we are blessed to have 2 cars so that when things go wrong with one, it doesn't mean disaster.  I thanked God that Cameron's father answered the phone and backed up my highly speculative diagnostic.  I thanked God that this happened on a day when Cameron is off - so that he has the time to take care of it.

Being a believer does not mean that things won't go wrong.  We live in a world where it is a given that things will go wrong.  Faith in a loving God does change your perspective, though.  Faith takes the focus from what went wrong to what went right.  

God is Good.  All the time.

**UPDATED**

Cameron just texted to say that the car started!  All it took was patience, Coca-Cola, and jumper cables!  *happydance!*

**UPDATED X2**

Charge didn't hold.  Off to the shop.  Yargh.