1 Month Ago Today: The (Abridged) Birth Story

Exactly a month ago now, I was being prepped for surgery.  I had never had surgery.  I was trying to be brave, but I was terrified.  I was about to meet my son.  Things were getting real, and it was happening fast.

It was a Friday night, and we had been at the hospital since Wednesday.  Cameron had driven me to the hospital to return a 24 hour lab.  Call me naive, but it never occurred to me that we wouldn't leave.  They hooked me up to a machine to monitor my blood pressure and Bo's heartbeat.  We sat and listened to his heart beat.  I had blood drawn for labs.

We played Words with Friends.

We waited.

Cameron went to get fried chicken and a sausage biscuit.  We ate in triage.  A nurse told us that we weren't leaving.  When a room opened up in labor and delivery, we'd be heading there.  After she left, another nurse came in and told us that she had our discharge papers, and that I should get dressed - so I did.  We walked out, and were met by our original nurse who looked incredibly confused.  We probably looked confused too. 

We stayed.

We waited. 

We played more Words with Friends.

Cameron left to get our hospital bag, and I was moved to L & D.  A nurse tried to put an IV in the back of my hand.  It was excruciating... and it didn't work.  She took it out, and I broke down.  I cried because my hand was on fire and I knew she'd have to do it again.  I cried because it was dark out and Cameron was not back.  I cried because I was terrified of giving birth.

We waited for Cameron to get back.  I just needed him.  I couldn't have done any of this without him.

For the next 2 days, a slew of doctors and nurses tried to induce labor. 

By Friday night, they recommended that we have a cesarean section.  I had fought it.  I had prayed.  I did not want someone cutting into me.   That was not in my plan.

I was shocked at how quickly it happened - everything else had happened at a snail's pace.  I was prepped for surgery and had another visit from the anesthesiologist. 

And then my bed broke.  I wanted someone to let my head down, but when the button was pushed, nothing happened.  I cried some more.

I was wheeled to surgery.  They took me in and left Cameron outside.  The anesthesiologist came to give me the spinal block and discovered that my epidural had fallen out. 

They strapped me to a table.  I cried.  I told Cameron I was going to be sick.  I told him I was going to pass out.  I told him that my arms were numb and that I wasn't going to be able to hold my baby.  He told me that I'd be fine.  I believed him. 

I felt some pressure, and then I felt lighter.  I heard gurgling.  I panicked.  Turns out it was normal.  He was perfectly normal. 

Bo was born at 10:56 PM on August 24th.  So much happened in that 2 days, but I've already started to forget.  I know it was worth it.  I know I'd do it again.  I'm one month in, and I can't imagine life without him.

Time flies.

It's a small world after all!

I know that I'm getting old because I have days where I wonder where the last decade or so went.  I marvel at the passage of time.  1998 was 14 years ago.  (I won't tell you how many times I just double checked that math.  It's early.   I haven't had enough coffee.  I might still be wrong.  Don't judge me.)

In 1998, I was in 10th grade.  If memory serves me right, I was taking World History from Ms. Flanagan, Biology from Mrs. Rhymer, and English from Mrs. Jacobs.  I was also getting to know a beautiful and vivacious Brazilian named Karen Lillian Roggia Butland.  We played at the theater together.  We had a class together.  We ate warm cookies after lunch together.  (Probably a fundraiser that would no longer be sanctioned by the school.)

She's back in Rockmart for a short visit, and I'm thrilled to say that I was able to introduce her to my son yesterday.

Like no time had passed at all.

She is the reason that I know for a fact that one day I will attend Carnival.  She is the reason that I (at one time) knew how to sing Happy Birthday in Portuguese.  She taught me how to make Brigadeiro.  

This is me - obviously waaaay too excited.

She even brought Bo a Brasil jersey to wear during the World Cup in 2014.  It's a little big now - but will fit soon enough.

We love you, Karen!  Come back and visit again soon!

No Titles Today

Post Op Appointment:

DONE.  No more visits to NWGA Medical Clinic until February.  My iron levels are now officially normal.  You may know that I had some real problems just after Bo's birth with my iron levels.  I was so anemic that breathing was difficult.  It was so difficult that I ended up back at the hospital.  I was told that my iron level was at a 7 - only just barely above you'regettingatransfusionNOW levels.  Today, I was at 13.1.  Normal is 12-15.  WIN.  I'm a healthy mama.  Not only is my iron good, but I officially weigh less now than I did when I got pregnant.  Breast feeding is amazing, y'all.  

State of the Mama:

Hanging in there.  I've only cried 3 or 4 times today - and it wasn't sobbing this time... just tearing up when I think about my boy. Without me.  The upside is that he's with family.  He's with people who love him.  And I'm sure that he's bonding with his cousin Aubrey.  :)

State of the Bo:

Missing his mama - I'm sure.  ;)  Also - 4 days away from being a month old!  WHOA.

Weekend o' Fun:

September is a fun fun fun month.  It's the month of my hubby's birth.  It's the month of my wedding anniversary.  It is also the month of Mellow's birth!  I look forward to September because Mellow's birthday means that even if it has been months or a year since I've seen him and his awesome mother, I know that I'll be seeing them.  It'll be Bo's first road trip - 6 hours total.  Cross your fingers for us.  This is gonna be madness.

State of the Blog:

Suddenly, all the blogs that I was following have disappeared.  There are no blogs showing in my reading list.  Anyone else having an issue there?

Yep - Still at home.

It's a Wednesday.

My Return to Work:
I never got a call back from the doctor's office about sending in the documentation so that I could return to work.  I called three times this morning, finally got someone, and was told that they'd get the information in.  I provided them the correct fax number and asked them to send it ASAP.

They called back in a couple of hours to say that no one could find the letter and that it would be tomorrow morning before the doctor was back in.

State of the Mama:
Stressed about not being able to go to work.  Worrying about finances and my current lack of a paycheck.  Trying to stay positive and use my extra day to explore my wardrobe now that I'm no longer wider than I am tall.

State of the Bo:
Sleeping.  Finally.  Thank goodness.  In the last 2 days, he's discovered that crying makes people come to his aid.  Everytime he stirs, he cries.  Every time he cries, he wakes himself up.  Everytime he wakes himself up, he refuses to go back to sleep unless he's being held.  I was trying so hard to avoid this.  Maybe it's unavoidable.

Short Term Goals:
Write about the BIRTH OF BO. 
Establish a new evening routine to make mornings less stressful.
Figure out what wardrobe items fit me now.
Return phone calls.

The day I had been dreading.

Today was the day - my return to work day.

It turned out to be incredibly anti-climactic, because HR had not received the letter from my doctor stating that I could return to work.  I called the doctor's office at 0830 and left a message, but by 1000, I had received no response.  My supervisor told me to leave.  I know that you must be thinking that I gleefully packed up and ran out the door.  Actually, though, I told him that I had been cleared and there was a mixup - I asked to stay and told him that if it turned out I wasn't actually okayed by the doctor that he could not pay me for the day.  I didn't get up, get dressed, and drive 30 minutes to work to be sent home 2 hours later... but he wasn't having it.

I had a gift card in my purse, so I stopped at the Target by work before I came home.  I needed a few things for pumping and a couple of groceries.  I also treated myself to a small treat from Starbucks.  I was intrigued by their new salted caramel drink, but I'm not adventurous, so I stuck with tried and true - a toffee nut latte.  It did not disappoint.

I never got a call back from the doctor's office - I'll try again tomorrow.

It's out there... and it's coming.

I'm going back to work on Tuesday.  I'm rejoining the real world.  I can't talk about it without crying.  I can't even think about it without crying.

These last few weeks have been the happiest of my life.  I'm just not ready for these weeks of spit up, diapers, and being screamed at multiple times a day to end.  I'm just starting to get to know him - even though I've known him longer than anyone else.  We haven't been seperated... ever.  How am I going to leave him behind for 9 hours?

He's growing - and changing - daily.  He's learning.  He's getting stronger.  He's developing.

We've got a good thing going.

He's perfect for me.

Today, my best friend told me that she'd stop calling me every other day if I'd just update this blog.  {I'm not entirely sure how to take that.}

I also received a text from my husband.  It said, "Btw... Would love to do some peeking... :D"  {Sounds sexy, but no.}

It's official.  I'm a mother - and a proud one.  Bowen Westley Anderson was born on August 24, 2012 at 10:56 PM.  He was 19 inches long and he weighed 6 pounds and 15.5 ounces. 

Daddy, Bo, and Mama

Daddy's favorite picture.

The whole family.
 

Love like I've never known.