Thursday, October 16, 2014

Cheeks Week 33: Paranoia, Heartburn, Insomnia

I checked back in with the hospital yesterday - bedrest is a joke when the hospital and doctor are 20 something miles from home and you're going 2-3 times per week.  I went to turn in my 24 hour urine sample and get my second steroid shot.  They told me that I should hear something about the sample this morning, so of course I was up at 4:30 AM to worry about it.  

At this point, every twinge and cramp is making me nervous.  It's an odd sensation for me - I'm so used to assuming the best and only half-planning for the worst that I don't know how to function at this point.  

I don't want to be negative, and I'm pretty sure that with the second baby, I'm supposed to worry less and not more, but it's just not working for me.  When the nurses started saying things like, "We just need to monitor closely to be sure that you aren't getting sicker," it flipped a switch in my brain.

No appointments today - I'll be home and mostly on my left side.  For once, I almost wish I was driving to Rome just so I could hear some good news, but hopefully the hospital will call in the next few hours with some.  Tomorrow, Cheeks and I have a nonstress test at the doctor's office.  

Every week day matters at this point, so we'll just keep plugging along here.  I don't want to be impatient - I know that Cheeks is developing lung power and immunities now, and I definitely don't want to do NICU time.  Guess we'll keep making the best of the situation.  

1 comment:

  1. Oooon the plus side - I love reading about your journey and am thankful to you for sharing! Of course, I would prefer a happy, stress-free story, but I'm sending positive vibes and know that there will be a happy ending! And I think someone got it wrong - we worry MORE the second time because we have such a deeper understanding of the little life inside. Xx