I'm pregnant. I know - I know - you might have gotten the memo. However, I feel that it bears repeating, because suddenly, I FEEL pregnant.
This may sound whiny to you, but this is one of those posts that I am recording for me. My sincerest apologies - I'd probably just skip this one if I were you.
I am 33 weeks pregnant. Up until week 32, I felt AWESOME. My hair had luster, my skin glowed, and my fingernails grew like never before. As of my doctor's appointment one week ago, I had gained 9 pounds since the beginning of my pregnancy. I had spells of being tired, but a quick nap always enabled me to work through it.
Suddenly, in the last week, I became the stereotype for pregnancy. One day, I ate french fries, and my fingers and toes swelled up like little sausages. The swelling went down slightly, but it didn't go away. My ankles were swallowed by my calves. I went from lovingly dressing my bump as a fantastic accessory to grabbing the first thing in my closet that still manages to contain the rapidly expanding belly.
I have adjusted my work schedule to accommodate taking a half day every week to visit the baby doctor - getting up earlier and taking shorter lunch breaks takes more of a toll on me than it ever has before.
I have 5 pounds of human camped out in my midsection. Bending is hard. I run out of breath putting on my shoes - not that they fit anymore. I rock and roll everywhere I go. I *rock* myself out of whatever chair I sit in. I *rock* myself out of my car. I *roll* myself off the couch and out of bed.
For the first time in my life, I actually believe that schedules are flexible. I'll get where I'm going when I get there. I don't have the energy to rush.
I am sore - every evening. My legs stay numb or tingly - and I can't decide which I'd rather deal with. I move from chair to chair to couch in the living room before I remember that I'm just *not* going to get comfortable, and I give up and go to bed.
I feel like a ticking time bomb. Two nights ago, I lied in bed, unable to sleep, because I couldn't stop thinking about what a mess it was going to make when my water broke. (Yes - I know. Typically it isn't a gush... but I didn't say that I was rational right now...)
This baby is coming - ready or not. I'm trying to plan it out in my mind, but there are too many unknowns. I need a bag - one at home and one in the car. I need a plan for how it goes down if I'm at work or at home. I need a plan for if it's daytime or night time. I need a plan for if the kids are here or if they aren't. I'm overwhelmed and panicked, but I'm still breathing.
I think that this is normal.
If it isn't, maybe you just shouldn't tell me.
Edited to add:
How did I forget the heartburn? I woke up in the middle of the night this week choking on my own acid reflux. Disgusting, I know. I was there. Why do I want to remember these things? I dunno. But I do.