Rocking and Rolling

Dear Peekers,

I'm pregnant.  I know - I know - you might have gotten the memo.  However, I feel that it bears repeating, because suddenly, I FEEL pregnant.

This may sound whiny to you, but this is one of those posts that I am recording for me.  My sincerest apologies - I'd probably just skip this one if I were you.

XOXO,

Me

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I am 33 weeks pregnant.  Up until week 32, I felt AWESOME.  My hair had luster, my skin glowed, and my fingernails grew like never before.  As of my doctor's appointment one week ago, I had gained 9 pounds since the beginning of my pregnancy.  I had spells of being tired, but a quick nap always enabled me to work through it.


Suddenly, in the last week, I became the stereotype for pregnancy.  One day, I ate french fries, and my fingers and toes swelled up like little sausages.  The swelling went down slightly, but it didn't go away.  My ankles were swallowed by my calves.  I went from lovingly dressing my bump as a fantastic accessory to grabbing the first thing in my closet that still manages to contain the rapidly expanding belly.


I have adjusted my work schedule to accommodate taking a half day every week to visit the baby doctor - getting up earlier and taking shorter lunch breaks takes more of a toll on me than it ever has before.  


I have 5 pounds of human camped out in my midsection.  Bending is hard.  I run out of breath putting on my shoes - not that they fit anymore.  I rock and roll everywhere I go.  I *rock* myself out of whatever chair I sit in.  I *rock* myself out of my car.  I *roll* myself off the couch and out of bed.


For the first time in my life, I actually believe that schedules are flexible.  I'll get where I'm going when I get there.  I don't have the energy to rush.  


I am sore - every evening.  My legs stay numb or tingly - and I can't decide which I'd rather deal with.  I move from chair to chair to couch in the living room before I remember that I'm just *not* going to get comfortable, and I give up and go to bed.


I feel like a ticking time bomb.  Two nights ago, I lied in bed, unable to sleep, because I couldn't stop thinking about what a mess it was going to make when my water broke.  (Yes - I know.  Typically it isn't a gush... but I didn't say that I was rational right now...)


This baby is coming - ready or not.  I'm trying to plan it out in my mind, but there are too many unknowns.  I need a bag - one at home and one in the car.  I need a plan for how it goes down if I'm at work or at home.  I need a plan for if it's daytime or night time.  I need a plan for if the kids are here or if they aren't.  I'm overwhelmed and panicked, but I'm still breathing.


I think that this is normal.  


If it isn't, maybe you just shouldn't tell me.


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Edited to add:

How did I forget the heartburn?  I woke up in the middle of the night this week choking on my own acid reflux.  Disgusting, I know.  I was there.  Why do I want to remember these things?  I dunno.  But I do.